"The Rules of Bedroom Golf" joke

Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play, normally one
club and two balls.
Play on course must be approved by the owner of the hole.
Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and
keep the balls out.
For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course
owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.
Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid
damage to the hole.
Object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until
the owner is satisfied play is complete. Failure to do so may result
in being denied permission to play again.
It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately
upon arrival. Experienced players will normally take time to admire
the entire course, paying special attention to well formed mounds and
bunkers.
Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have
played or are currently playing to the owner of the course being
played. Upset owners have been known to damage a players equipment for
this reason.
Players are encouraged to have proper rain gear, just in case.
Players should not assume that the course is in shape to play at
all times. Players may be embarrassed if they find the course
temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be extremely tactful
in this situation. More advanced players will find alternate means of
play when this is the case.
Players should assume their match has been properly scheduled
particularly when playing a new course for the 1st time. Previous
players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else
is playing what they considered a private course.
The owner of the course is responsible for the pruning of any
bushes, which may reduce the visibility of the hole.
Players are strongly advised to get the owners permission before
attempting to play the backside.
Slow play is encouraged, however, players should be prepared to
proceed at a quicker pace at the owners request.
It is considered an outstanding performance, time permitting, to
play the same hole several times in one match.

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