Walls Jokes / Recent Jokes

Cartoon Law I
Any body suspended in space will remain in space until made aware of its situation.
Daffy Duck steps off a cliff, expecting further pastureland. He loiters in midair,
soliloquizing flippantly, until he chances to look down. At this point, the familiar
principle of 32 feet per second per second takes over.
Cartoon Law II
Any body in motion will tend to remain in motion until solid matter intervenes suddenly.
Whether shot from a cannon or in hot pursuit on foot, cartoon characters are so absolute in
their momentum that only a telephone pole or an outsize boulder retards their forward
motion absolutely. Sir Isaac Newton called this sudden termination of motion the stooge's
surcease.
Cartoon Law III
Any body passing through solid matter will leave a perforation conforming to its perimeter.
Also called the silhouette of passage, this phenomenon is the speciality of victims of
directed-pressure explosions more...

A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a Sardarni painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.
Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.
She showed him the instructions on the tin, "For best results put on two coats"

Being told to "Think Outside the Box" when I'm in the darn box all day!
Not being able to check E-mail attachments without first seeing who is behind me.
Fabric cubicle walls do not offer much protection from any kind of gun fire.
That nagging feeling that if I just press the right button, I will get a piece of cheese.
Lack of roof rafters for the noose.
My walls are too close together for my hammock to work right.
23 power cords, 1 outlet.
Prison cells are not only bigger, they have beds.
When tours come through, I get lots of peanuts thrown at me.
Can't slam the door when you quit and walk out.
If you talk to yourself it causes all the surrounding cubicle inhabitants to pop their heads over the wall and say "What? I didn't hear you."
If your boss calls you and asks you to come into his office for a minute the walk there is like a funeral march... people hand you tissues as you pass and refuse to make eye more...

This happened way back in 1950's. It's the first day our famous U-Ravana took his family
to Colombo to see the tallest building in Ceylon - the famous Ceylinco House.
They were amazed by everything they saw -- especially the elevator at one end of the
lobby. The son of U-ravana, then a little boy of 10 years, asked, "What's this, Appachchi?"
to which Mr. U-Ravana responded, "Putha, I have never seen anything like this in my life,
I don't know what it is!"
While the son and the father were watching in wide-eyed astonishment, an old lady in a
wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the
lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the son and father
watched small circles of lights above the walls light up. They continued to watch the
circles light up in the reverse direction. The walls opened again, and a voluptuous
24-year-old woman stepped more...

A redneck family from the hills was visiting the city and stopped in a mall for the first time in their lives. The wife went shopping, while the father and son strolled around checking the place out. They were in awe of everything, especially the two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together.
"Whats' 'at Paw?" the young boy asked. Never having seen anything like it before, the father replied, "I dunno son. I ain't never seen nothin' like it before."
While they watched in amazement, a fat, ugly lady walked up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady walked in to a small room. The walls closed and the father and son watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continud watching until the last number lit up and then they started to light in reverse order.
Suddenly, the walls opened again and out stepped a gorgeous, voluptuous young lady. The father, not taking his more...

Question: Why do they throw shit on the walls at rednack weddings?
Answer: To keep the flies off the bride!

You Play Too Much DOOM, When...
You attempt to change lanes on the freeway by strafing left.
You try to pull out your BFG9000 after someone cuts you off on your way to work...
You keep trying to pick things up by walking over them..
You eat the blue and green balls off the christmas tree
You feel lousy and look down for the status bar
You grab your kid's backpack and can't believe its empty!?
Your desk at work is piled with paper because you refuse get too close to the recycle barrel.
The only way your wife can get your attention is to throw tomatoes at you.
Your PC boots straight into DOOM unless you press a key.
Your desk is wearing away right in front of the arrow keys!
You know for sure you've played to much when you try to look around the edges of your screen for the cyberdemon that got away.
You back-up your DOOM files daily.
You try to double click on every door in the house.
You use the alarm clock to tell you when to GO more...