Waltz Jokes

[The following, possibly apocryphal story appeared in this morning's
(28/03/91) Glasgow Herald.]
Lord George Brown, when the band struck up at an embassy function,
asked: "Beautiful lady in scarlet, will you waltz with me?"
"Certainly not," was the reply. "First, you are drunk. Second, it
is not a waltz, but the Venezualan national anthem; and third, I am
not a beautiful lady in scarlet, but the papal nuncio."

A shy bachelor was posted as ambassador to Peru. At a reception and dance given by him in the embassy, he spent more time with his whisky bottle than with his guests.
Emboldened by the intake of spirits he decided to ask what appeared to him his most important lady guest, to dance a Viennese waltz with him. The guest turned down the request with the following words:' There are three reasons why I will not dance with you. The first is that you have obviously had too much to drink. The second is that the orchestra is not playing a Viennese waltz - it is playing the Peruvian national anthem. And thirdly, I am the Cardinal Archbishop of Buenos Aires.'

[The following, possibly apocryphal story appeared in the Glasgow Herald.]
Lord George Brown, when the band struck up at an embassy function, asked: "Beautiful lady in scarlet, will you waltz with me?"
"Certainly not," was the reply. "First, you are drunk. Second, it is not a waltz, but the Venezuelan national anthem; and third, I am not a beautiful lady in scarlet, but the papal nuncio."