Watering Jokes

A man was watering is lawn one day when he looked and coming up the street was two hearse's followed by a man, his dog and a single file line of about 200 men. The guy watering his lawn thought this was rather odd and decided to ask the first guy (with the dog) what was going on. The guy said "that's my wife in the first hearse, my dog bit her and she died". The guy watering the lawn said, "Oh, I'm terribly sorry to hear that, what about the second hearse?". The other guy said "well thats my mother-in-law, my dog also bit her and she died". The guy with the lawn thinks for a minute and says, "can I borrow your dog?". The guy with the dog responds, "Back of the line!".

"How come youre only watering half your lawn?" a perplexed tourist asked a Richmond resident. "I just heard there was a fifty percent chance of rain."

"How come you're only watering half your lawn?" a perplexed tourist asked a Richmond resident. "I just heard there was a fifty percent chance of rain."

Farmer John had just walked into the local watering hole, when who should he see, but his old friend Chris the tractor salesman sitting up at the bar. Chris looked so down and dejected, that John just had to go up and say something to him. "Say, Chris, how ya doing? How's the tractor selling business these days?" If Chris had looked sad before, at the mention of tractor sales, his face sank even more, and a tear came to his eye. "John," he said, shaking his head, "I don't know what it is. I can't sell a tractor these days to save my life. I'll tell you, I just gotta sell one tractor and soon, or else I'll lose that dealership for good." "Well," John said, taking the barstool next to him, "If you think you got it bad, I got it worse. Now you listen to this...." "I went out to the barn the other morning to milk Bessy. That ol' cow gets more ornery as the years go by. Anyway, no sooner did I sit down on the milking stool and get to more...