Way Jokes / Recent Jokes

Kuttappan was bragging to his boss one day, “You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them. ”
Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff,
“OK, Kuttappan how about Tom Cruise? ”
“Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it. ”
So Kuttappan and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise’s door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise shouts, “Babu! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch! ”
Although impressed, Kuttappan’s boss is still skeptical.
After they leave Cruise’s house, he tells Kuttappan that he thinks Kuttappan’s knowing Cruise was just lucky.
“No, no, just name anyone else”, Kuttappan says.
“President Bush, ” his boss quickly retorts.
“Yes, ” Kuttappan says, “I know him, let’s fly out to Washington. ”
And off they go. At the White House, Bush spots Kuttappan on the tour and motions him and his more...

There was a man who lived in great fear of his wife. Once he incurred the wrath of his wife, who by way of punishment, was going to squeeze his fingers between sticks. "We have no sticks at home," said the man. His wife consequently sent him over to their neighbor to borrow a pair. On his way out, the man was heard grumbling. At that his wife instantly called him back and asked: "What the hell were you grumbling about?" "Nothing," answered the man. "I was just saying we should have our own instruments of torture."

To really succeed in a business or organization, it is sometimes helpful to know what your job is, and whether it involves any duties. Ask among your coworkers.
"Hi," you should say. "I'm a new employee. What is the name of my job?"
If they answer "long-range planner" or "lieutenant governor," you are pretty much free to lounge around and do crossword puzzles until retirement. Most jobs,
however, will require some work.
There are two major kinds of work in modern organizations:
1. Taking phone messages for people who are in meetings, and,
2. Going to meetings.
Your ultimate career strategy will be to get a job involving primarily No. 2, going to meetings, as soon as possible, because
that's where the real prestige is. It is all very well and good to be able to take phone messages, but you are never going to get a position of power, a position where you can cost thousands of people their jobs with a single more...

Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God had to deal with His disobedient children: Adam and Eve.

And the first thing He said to them was:

"Don't."

"Don't what?" Adam replied.

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit," God said.

"Forbidden fruit? We got forbidden fruit? Hey, Eve. . . we got Forbidden Fruit!"

"No way!"

"Yes WAY!"

"Don't eat that fruit!" said God.

"Why?"

"Because I'm your Creator and I said so!" said God, wondering why He hadn't stopped after making the elephants.

A few minutes later, God saw the kids having an apple break and was angry.

"Didn't I tell you not to eat that fruit?" God asked.

"Uh huh," Adam replied.

"Then why did you?"

"I more...

Always look like a Shiseido Spokes model: he would be proud to take the girl around shopping and showing her off. Never be taller than him: it makes him look bad. Compliment! Tell him that his little Honda Civic is a lot sportier looking than the Porsche. Have him upgrade the civic to a prelude his senior year and when he graduates persuade him to get a Supra. Buy him clothes Dead Rap stars would wear: Polo, Hilfinger, Nautica, Nikes, Timberlands, and Quicksilver (close enough to big brand names). Never use more hair products than he does. Tell him his baggy clothes makes him look bigger. (BTW, from tric) Talk to him in a way that allows him to use what little of Japanese (any Asian language ) he knows. Tell him that he's different from the other white guys on the street. The special white guy you love. Compliment him on both his shirts... the button long sleeve one, and the print t-shirt he has on underneath. Make them think that because they understand your "culture", they more...

Dashing through the mall...
On a late December day,
Through the $tores we go
Charging all the way...
Ching. .. Ching. .. Ching. ..
Bell$ on register$ ring
Making checkbook$ light,
Oh, what fun it is to buy up
Everything in $ight!
Ching. .. Ching. .. Ching. ..
Jingle Bells Jingle Bells
The kids all yell and scream
To us it sounds like anarchy
But to them it's harmony-HEY!
Jingle Bells Jingle Bells
The children tipped the tree
Antique ornaments smashed to bits
The kids each say "not me"
Dad goes to work each day
Engineering things for flight
But his real job is at home
Refereeing little fights
Mom drives the kids around
In an ancient Caravan
Karate, swimming, children's choir
Espresso in her hand-HEY!
Jingle Bells Jingle Bells
Jingle all the way
Our wish to you is that you have
A... Happy... Holi-dayyyyyyyyy.

Bad Light: what games tend to finish in, when it is probably twice as dark as it was when the batsman went off for bad light in the middle of the afternoon session.

Bits and Pieces Player: cricketer who is only average at more things than the average player.

Bowler's Limitation: maximum number of overs a bowler is allowed to bowl, which they usually exceed by bowling no-balls.

Bowler Tossing The Ball Up: bowler celebrating a caught and bowled.

Bowling Attack: a series of bowlers who defend.

Building A Platform For The Innings: method by which batsmen bat very slowly leaving the tail to bat very quickly to ensure a decent total.

Coloured Clothing: what players wear in the hope that spectators will wear it too; also a useful way for the crowd to tell the difference between the batsmen and the bowlers.

Day/Night Match: one-day game played under contemporary over- rates.

Death: part of the innings in more...