Wedding Jokes / Recent Jokes

A woman goes to a party and leaves her husband at home to watch the football game. At the party the bartender recognized her wedding ring on the wrong finger so he ask her "Why is your wedding ring on the wrong finger mam?" "Well you don’t miss a thing do you and your right it is, and it’s because I married the wrong man!"

A small tourist hotel was all abuzz about an afternoon wedding where the groom was 95 and the bride was 23. The groom looked pretty feeble and the feeling was that the wedding night might kill him, because his bride was a healthy, vivacious young woman. But lo and behold, the next morning, the bride came down the main staircase slowly, step by step, hanging onto the banister for dear life.

She finally managed to get to the counter of the little shop in the hotel. The clerk looked really concerned, "Whatever happened to you, honey? You look like you've been wrestling an alligator!"

The bride groaned, hung on to the counter and managed to speak, "Ohhh God! He told me he'd been saving up for 75 years, and I thought he meant his money!!"

On their wedding night the husband was so self - conscious about the smallness of his penis that before undressing, he snapped off the light. Once he was in bed, he unzipped his pants and handed his member to his bride."That's thoughtful, darling," she cooed, "but we'll need the light if you want to write thank-you notes ."

She had a wedding to go to, and needed a wedding gift. Aha, thought she, I have that monogrammed silver tray from my wedding that I never use. I'll just take it to a silversmith and have him remove my monogram and put hers on it. Voila, one cheap wedding present.
So, she took it to the silversmith and asked him to remove her monogram and put the new one on.
The silversmith took a look at the tray, shook his head and said, "Lady, this can only be done so many times!"

An elderly couple is sharing an intimate dinner in honor of their 75th
wedding anniversary.
The man says softly, "Dear, there is something I must ask you. It has
always bothered me that our sixth child never quite looked like the
rest of our children. Now, let me assure you these 75 years have been
the most wonderful I could have hoped for, and your answer will not
take all that away. But, please tell me, did he have a different
father?"
His wife lowers her eyes, pauses for a moment, and then confesses,
"Yes. Yes, he did."
The old man tightens, very shaken, the reality hitting him hard. "Who?
Who was he? Who was the father?" he asks.
Again, the woman lowers her head, trying to muster the courage to
finally tell her husband the truth.
She says, "You."

How can you tell if you're at a redneck wedding? The bridesmaids are strippers, the best man gave the bride a spittoon as a wedding gift, the groom is wearing his finest wrestling shirt, and the bride's father is getting pit stains from holding the shotgun to the groom's head for so long. First Name: Tumbleweed Smith

1st wife:' Did you manage to get away from cricket at your wedding?'

2nd wife:' Don't talk to me about it. I thought it was a bad sign when we had to enter under an arch of cricket bats, but it got worse.'

1st wife:' What happened?'

2nd wife:' The choir sang The Bails of St. Mary's!'