Wedding Jokes / Recent Jokes
At a friend's wedding, the bridal party filled their car with balloons--all filled with laughing gas. They put them everywhere, under seats, in the glove box, etc. They popped the balloons, and everyone was relaxed and laughing. But balloons were popping all during the trip of their honeymoon. They said they enjoyed the trick.
When the young groom came to bed on his wedding night, he was surprised to find a large padlocked chest at the foot of the bed.
"What's that for?" he asked his wife.
She wouldn't tell him, saying only that the contents were a secret she could never share with him. Reluctantly her gallant husband honored her privacy and considered the odd matter closed.
Years passed, and finally, on their fiftieth wedding anniversary, the husband's curiosity got the best of him. He approached his wife and literally begged her to tell him what was inside the chest. Gazing into his pleading eyes, she smiled and agreed to open the chest.
Fetching the key, she raised the lid: Inside were two ears of corn and fifty thousand dollars.
"Corn?" said the surprised old man. "What in heaven's name is that for?"
"Well," his wife confessed, "every time I cheated on you I put an ear of corn in the chest."
The man looked from his wife more...
A just-married Chinese couple decided to make love on the wedding night in the hotel where they held their wedding. The wife did not want to get pregnant and requested the husband to buy condom from the shop nearby. When the husband left, the wife waited anxiously in the room with all the lights switched off. The husband had a hard time looking for a shop that sell condom and when he finally found one, he realized that he had only one 20 cents coin. He asked the shop owner to sell him one piece of condom and the shop owner asked him which quality does he want. "The white condom, lowest quality, is 15 cents each. The black condom, average quality, is 20 cents each. And the purple condom, highest quality, is 25 cents each." So the husband took the black condom as he had only 20 cents with him. While the husband was out, a black Indian thief came into the room. The wife did not notice and thought that it was her husband. She grabs the thief and happily screwing away. The wife more...
A young bride and groom-to-be had just selected their wedding rings. As the young lady admired the plain platinum and diamond band she had chosen for herself, she suddenly looked concerned.
"Tell me," she asked the rather elderly salesman, "is there anything special I'll have to do to take care of this ring?"
With a fatherly smile, the salesman said, "One of the best ways to protect a wedding ring is to soak it in dishwater."
fun! :-)
A-Day minus 5"Jimmy, whatever happened to that nice Max Iceberg? I haven't seen him since he came to our wedding ten years ago."
A-Day minus 4"Look at this ad. It's the exact same set of dishes the girls gave me at work for my bridal shower ten years ago."
A-Day minus 3"You know, you don't look a day older than when we got married ten years ago. I'm glad you've kept yourself in such good shape."
A-Day minus 2"Look Jimmy, I can still fit into my wedding dress. See? You're not the only one who's kept in shape these past ten years."
A-Day minus 1"Remember how nervous you were at our wedding rehearsal dinner ten years ago tonight? I was afraid you weren't gonna show up at the church."
Anniversary"Oh Jimmy darling. For me? You remembered."
Today is my twenty-fifth wedding anniversary. Really? Yes, I've been married twenty-five times!