Westchester Jokes / Recent Jokes

Cross my heart this happened to someone. This guy lives in Westchester, NY and goes to school at Ithaca College. For two years, he has wanted to ask a certain girl (who is also from Westchester and also goes to Ithaca) out on a date, but has never had the courage. Finally, one day over the summer, he sees her at home and musters up the courage to ask her out. She accepts, and they make dinner plans for Saturday night. Friday night, this guy goes out with all of his buddies, and drinks like Prohibition is coming back. Saturday, he is in such bad shape that he can't make it through twenty minutes without either throwing up or using the bathroom. After several hours of this, he is able to stop throwing up, but he is still running to the toilet every 20 minutes. He doesn't want to cancel the date, because he's afraid he won't ever talk to her again. So they meet in Westchester, and take the train to New York City (about a 30 minute ride). They get to the restaurant, and he excuses himself more...

You Know You're From Westchester When...
You go to a Dave Matthews Band concert and end up running into people you know from your school.
Half the people in your school mysteriously develop inner-Queens accents during 7th and 8th grade.
Starbucks is a regular stop for you.
You say Abercrombie & Fitch makes you want to puke, yet you sport at least one outfit from the store each week
NYU is your top choice for college.
If you go to Catholic school, you know everyone at all the Catholic schools in Westchester.
If you go to public school you still manage to know everyone at all the Catholic schools in Westchester.
Below 1400 is a "so-so" SAT score
You claim to hate your school, but you go to all the dances and play at least one varsity sport anyway.
Even though your best friend lives a stone's throw away, you have most of your conversations with him/her on AOL or AIM.
You know you have to act tough when going to The Galleria, or else more...

This Poor Innocent Guy lives in Westchester, NY and goes to school at Ithaca College. For two years, he has wanted to ask a certain girl (who is also from Westchester and also goes to Ithaca) out on a date, but has never had the courage.

Finally, one day over the summer, he sees her at home and musters up the courage to ask her out. She accepts, and they make dinner plans for Saturday night. Friday night, this guy goes out with all of his buddies, and drinks like prohibition is coming back. Saturday, he is in such bad shape that he can't make it through twenty minutes without either throwing up or using the bathroom. After several hours of this, he is able to stop throwing up, but he is still running to the toilet every 20 minutes. He doesn't want to cancel the date, because he's afraid he won't ever talk to her again. So they meet in Westchester, and take the train to New York City (about a 30-minute ride). They get to the restaurant, and he excuses himself during the more...

Abe and Moishe had a religious goods store on Delancey Street on the Lower East Side of NYC. The neighborhood was changing. The Jews were moving to Westchester and the Puerto Ricans were moving in."Abe, we have to move to Westchester," said Moishe."We can't. This neighborhood is our life. We've been here for 33 years. Maybe we can start stocking Catholic articles too.""What? Catholic articles? Bis du in gantzen meshuggeh? We're Jews. No Catholic articles!"Well, a month passed and they sold nothing but two tallesim, three mezzuzahs and one set of tefillin. Now was the time to fish or cut bait.Moishe agreed that they had to stock Catholic articles, so he said to Abe, "OK, call that Catholic supply house on Park Avenue."Abe: "Hello, Catholic supply house on Park Avenue? This is Abe and Moishe's on Delancey Street. We want 100 autographed pictures of the Pope, 200 of those beads - what you call them, Rosaries? - and 500 crucifixes...and I need more...

This guy lives in Westchester, NY and goes to school at Ithaca College. For two years, he has wanted to ask a certain girl (who is also from Westchester and also goes to Ithaca) out on a date, but has never had the courage.

Finally, one day over the summer, he sees her at home and musters up the courage to ask her out. She accepts, and they make dinner plans for Saturday night. Friday night, this guy goes out with all of his buddies, and drinks like prohibition is coming back.

Saturday, he is in such bad shape that he can't make it through twenty minutes without either throwing up or using the bathroom. After several hours of this, he is able to stop throwing up, but he is still running to the toilet every 20 minutes. He doesn't want to cancel the date, because he's afraid he won't ever talk to her again.

So they meet in Westchester, and take the train to New York City (about a 30 minute ride). They get to the restaurant, and he excuses himself during more...