Whiskey Jokes / Recent Jokes

Step 1: Go buy a turkey
Step 2: Take a drink of whiskey (scotch)
Step 3: Put turkey in the oven
Step 4: Take another 2 drinks of whiskey
Step 5: Set the degree at 375 ovens
Step 6: Take 3 more whiskeys of drink
Step 7: Turn oven the on
Step 8: Take 4 whisks of drinky
Step 9: Turk the bastey
Step 10: Whiskey another bottle of get
Step 11: Stick a turkey in the thermometer
Step 12: Glass yourself a pour of whiskey
Step 13: Bake the whiskey for 4 hours
Step 14: Take the oven out of the turkey
Step 15: Take the oven out of the turkey
Step 16: Floor the turkey up off of the pick
Step 17: Turk the carvey
Step 18: Get yourself another scottle of botch
Step 19: Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey
Step 20: Bless the saying, pass and eat out

Step 1: Go buy a turkey
Step 2: Take a drink of whiskey, scotch, or JD
Step 3: Put turkey in the oven
Step 4: Take another 2 drinks of whiskey
Step 5: Set the degree at 375 ovens
Step 6: Take 3 more whiskeys of drink
Step 7: Turn oven the on
Step 8: Take 4 whisks of drinky
Step 9: Turk the bastey
Step 10: Whiskey another bottle of get
Step 11: Stick a turkey in the thermometer
Step 12: Glass yourself a pour of whiskey
Step 13: Bake the whiskey for 4 hours
Step 14: Take the oven out of the turkey
Step 15: Take the oven out of the turkey
Step 16: Floor the turkey up off the pick
Step 17: Turk the carvey
Step 18: Get yourself another scottle of botch
Step 19: Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey
Step 20: Bless the saying, pass and eat out

Step 1Go buy a turkey
Step 2Take a drink of whiskey
Step 3Put turkey in the oven
Step 4Take another two drinks of whiskey
Step 5Set the degree at 375 ovens
Step 6Take three more whiskeys of drink
Step 7Turn oven the on
Step 8Take four whisks of drinkey
Step 9Turk the bastey
Step 10Whiskey another bottle of get
Step 11Stick a turkey in the thermometer
Step 12Glass yourself another pour of whiskey
Step 13Bake the whiskey for four hours
Step 14Take the oven out of the turkey
Step 15Take the oven out of the turkey
Step 16Floor the turkey up off of the pick
Step 17Turk the carvey
Step 18Get yourself another scottle of botch
Step 19Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey
Step 20Bless the saying, pass and eat out.

The Eighteen Bottles I had eighteen bottles of whiskey in my cellar and was told by mywife to empty the contents of each and every bottle down the sink, orelse... I said I would and proceeded with the unpleasant task. Iwithdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down thesink with the exception of one glass, which I drank. I then withdrew thecork from the second bottle and did likewise with it, with the exceptionof one glass, which I drank. I then withdrew the cork from the thirdbottle and poured the whiskey down the sink which I drank. I pulled thecork from the fourth bottle down the sink and poured the bottle down theglass, which I drank. I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next anddrank one sink out of it, and threw the rest down the glass. I pulled thesink out of the next glass and poured the cork down the bottle. Then Icorked the sink with the glass, bottled the drink and drank the pour. When I had everything emptied, I steadied the house with one hand, more...

Roger sits down at the counter of his local bar. "Bartender," he says, "give me the bottle of your strongest whiskey."
The bartender laughs, "Sure thing, pal, $150."
He hands Roger the bottle, who instantly begins guzzling it down.
"My God!" said the bartender, "I've never seen anyone drink whisky that fast!"
"Well," said Roger, "I'm actually part of a new medical experiment, you see I have a series of cybernetic implants designed to allow me to handle any amount of alcohol very quickly."
"Is that so?" said the bartender.
"Yes," said Roger, suddenly there is a loud buzzing from his chest.
"That's my metal stomach, codenamed old clanker, adding it to my bloodstream." Another low humming now. "That's my cyborg liver, codenamed old trusty, processing the whiskey." A high pitched whistle came from Roger's lower torso. "That is my titanium kidney, more...

A man drinks a shot of whiskey every night before bed. After years of this, the wife wants him to quit; she gets two shot glasses, filling one with water and the other with whiskey. After getting him to the table that had the glasses, she brings his bait box. She says "I want you to see this." She puts a worm in the water it, and it swims around. She puts a worm in the whiskey, and the worm dies immediately. She then says, feeling that she has made her point clear, "what do you have to say about this experiment?" He responds by saying: "If I drink whiskey, I won't get worms!"

(Read in a Turkish newspaper:)
Old west... A bar... All of a sudden, the door opens with a kick, and
a cowboy in black enters... Black hat, black foulard, black shirt,
black trousers, black boots, black gloves, black belt, and a black
pair of guns...
Everyone looks at him with fearful eyes. He approaches the barman, and
asks:
"Do you have a bucket?"
Barman runs inside, finds a wooden bucket, comes back. The cowboy in
black looks to the bucket, and orders:
"Now, bring me three bottles of whiskey."
Seconds later:
"Pour them into the bucket."
And, then:
"And now, bring this to my horse outside."
The frightened and surprised barman does what the cowboy in black
tells.
He finds a horse, black as night, tied in front of the bar, completely
in black harness. It drinks all the whiskey at once.
Then the barman returns back inside the bar. The cowboy very more...