White Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: What do you call an elephant wearing pink earmuffs and a dress?
A: Anything you want, it can't hear you.
Q: Why is an elephant big, grey, and wrinkly?
A: Because, if it was small, white and smooth it would be an Aspirin.
Q: What's grey and white on the inside and red on the outside?
A: An inside out elephant.
Q: What is grey and not there.
A: No elephants.
Q: How do you shoot a blue elephant?
A: With a blue elephant gun, of course.
Q: How do you shoot a red elephant?
A: No, not with a red elephant gun. You strangle him until he turns blue, and then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.
Q: How do you shoot a green elephant?
A: Tell him a dirty joke so he turns red, strangle him until he turns blue, and then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.
Q: How do you shoot a yellow elephant?
A: Ever seen a yellow elephant? (Stup-pid, fuul, idyut!)
Q: Why are elephants wrinkled?
A: Have you ever tried to iron one?
Q: Why did more...

An Indian walks into a trading post and asks for toilet paper. The clerk asks if he would like no name, Charmin, or White Cloud.

"White Cloud sounds like good Indian toilet paper," says the Indian. "How much is it?"

"$1.00 a roll," the clerk replies.

"That seems pretty expensive," responds the Indian. "What about the others?"

"Charmin is $2.00 a roll, and no name is 50 cents a roll."

The Indian doesn't have much money, so he opts for the no name. Within a few hours, he is back at the trading post.

"I have a name for the no name toilet paper," he announces to the clerk. "We shall call it John Wayne."

"Why?" asks the confused clerk.

"Cause it's rough and it's tough and it don't take no crap off an Indian."

One day, Clinton called the White House interior decorator into the Oval Office.
He was very furious and said, "Chelsea is very upset because she thinks she has the ugliest room in the entire White House; I want something done about it immediately!"
Yes Sir, Mr. President," the interior decorator replies.
"I'll take those mirrors out right away!"

Diary EntriesAUG. 12 Moved to our new home in Ohio. It is so beautiful here. Thehills are so majestic. I can hardly wait to see them with snow coveringthem. I love it here.OCT. 14 Ohio is the most beautiful place on Earth. The leaves are turnedall the colors and shades of red and orange. Went for a ride through thebeautiful hills and saw some deer. They are so graceful, certainly theyare the most wonderful animal on Earth. This must be paradise. I love ithere.NOV. 11 Deer season will start soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting tokill such a gorgeous creature. Hope it will snow soon, I love it here.DEC. 2 It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed inwhite. It looks like a postcard. We went outside and cleaned the snow offthe steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight (I won), andwhen the snowplow came by, we had to shovel the driveway again. What abeautiful place. I love Ohio. DEC. 12 More snow last night. I love it. The snowplow did his trickagain to the more...

3 people were on a boat travelling. A japanese, A white Canadian, and a Tamil.
All of a sudden the boat started to sink. So the japanes man took all the gold, and silver and throw it overboard, so the tamil man said " hey why did you do that for"? The japanese man replied " we have a lot of that in our country"
The ship started sinking so the tamil man threw out his gun. So the white man asked " hey why did you do that for" So the Tamil replied " We have a lot of that in our country".
The ship kept sinking so the white man picked up the tamil man. Threw him over board. "hey why did you do that", said the Japanese man.
" WE HAVE A LOT OF THOSE IDIOTS IN OUR COUNTRY"

Q. Where was OJ headed in the white Bronco
A. To Tuscaloosa... he knew the police would never look for a Heisman Trophy winner there!

Q. What`s the best road sign in Auburn?
A. Tuscaloosa - 120 miles

A man walks into a store says to the clerk, "I`d like a pair of red shoes, a white shirt, a pair of red pants, and a pair of white shoes." The clerk looks at him and shakes his head saying, "You must be an Alabama fan!" The man proclaims with pride, "How could you tell, was it the color scheme!" The clerk looks at him and says "No, this is a hardware store."

Q. What is the most common line used by an Auburn alum?
A. Would you like fries with that?

Q. Why did they build the Mercedes plant so close to the University of Alabama?
A. Because they have an endless supply of crash test dummies right down the road.

Q. Why is Auburn always in the dark?
A. Because they`re afraid of more...

A man walks in a T-shirt shop. There are three T-shirts on display.
The 1st has a picture of Richard Nixon with a white mustache. Below the picture is titled, "Got milk."
The 2nd T-shirt has a picture of Ronald Reagan with a
white mustache on it. Below this picture it is titled, "Forgot milk."
The 3rd T-shirt has a picture of Monica Lewinsky with a white mustache on it, and the title on this shirt reads, "Not milk."