Widow Jokes / Recent Jokes

A rich, lonely widow decided that she needed another man in her life, so she placed a personal ad that read: Rich Widow Looking for Man to Share Life and Fortune with the Following Qualifications:
1. WON'T BEAT ME UP
2. WON'T RUN AWAY
3. HAS TO BE GREAT IN BED
For several months, her phone rang off the hook, her doorbell was ringing constantly, she received tons of mail, etc., all to no avail. None of the men seemed to meet her qualifications.
Then one day the doorbell rang yet again. She opened the door to find a man, with no arms and no legs, lying on the welcome mat. Perplexed, she asked, "Who are you and what do you want?"
"Hi," said the man "Your search is over, for I am the man of your dreams. I've got no arms, so I can't beat you up and I've got no legs, so I can't run away."
The old woman asked, "What makes you think you're so great in bed?"
To which he replied, "I rang the doorbell, didn't more...

Many, many years ago
when I was twenty three,
I got married to a widow
who was pretty as could be,
This widow had a daughter
Who had hair of red.
My father fell in love with her,
And soon the two were wed.
This made my dad my son-in-law
And changed my very life.
My daughter was my mother,
For she was my father's wife.
To complicate the matters worse,
Although it brought me joy,
I soon became the father
Of a bouncing baby boy.
My little baby then became
A brother-in-law to dad.
And so became my uncle,
Though it made me very sad.
For if he was my uncle,
Then that also made him brother
To the widow's grown-up daughter
Who, of course was my stepmother.
Father's wife then had a son,
Who kept them on the run.
And he became my grandson,
For he was my daughter's son.
My wife is now my mother's mom.
And it surely makes me blue.
Because, although she is my wife,
She is my more...

Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. They loaded up Jack's station-wagon and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. They pulled into a nearby farmhouse and asked the attractive lady of the house if they could spend the night. "I'm recently widowed," she explained, "and I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house."
"Not to worry," Jack said, "we'll be happy to sleep in the barn."
Nine months later, Jack got a letter from the widow's attorney. He called up his friend Bob and said, "Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow at the farm we stayed at?"
"Yes, I do."
"Did you happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and have sex with her?"
"Yes, I have to admit that I did."
"Did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your name?"
Bob's face turns red and he more...

Many, many years ago
When I was twenty-three,
I got married to a widow
Who was pretty as could be.
This widow had a daughter
Who had gorgeous hair of red,
My father fell in love with her
And soon the two were wed.
This made my dad my son-in-law
And changed my very life,
For daughter was my mother
Since she was my father's wife.
To complicate the matters more
Although it brought me joy,
I soon became the father
Of a bouncing baby boy.
My little baby then became
A brother-in-law to dad,
And so became my uncle,
Though this made me very sad.
For if he was my uncle,
Then that also made him brother,
To the widow's grown-up daughter
Who, of course, was my step-mother.
Father's wife then had a son
Who kept them on the run,
And he became my grandson
For he was my daughter's son.
My wife is now my mother's mom
And it surely makes me blue,
Because, although she is my more...

It seems that Abe and Morey, two salesmen for an advertising agency, were traveling together through the midwest, when they were caughtbetween towns during a driving snow storm.The further they went, the worse conditions got, and they finallyslid off into a ditch. Fortunately there was a house quite nearby.They waded through the drifts to the house, and after a shortconversation with the lady who answered the door, they were able toconvince her that they were no danger to her, and she let them come in.She prepared a meal for them, and during the conversation Abe andMorey learned that she was a widow of a few years standing.Conditions continued to deteriorate, and she prepared the guest roomfor Abe and Morey.The next day about 10:00 AM, a snowplow came through and helpfullypulled the salesmen's car our of the ditch, after cleaning the road.Abe and Morey thanked th widow Brown and went on their rounds.Nine months later, Abe called Morey, and asked if Morey had, by somechance, happened more...

Two salesmen are traveling in the country when their car breaks down. The only house around for miles was a large mansion. They knock on the door and a beautiful widow answers the door. Since it is early evening and the garage will not be opened until morning, she offers to let them spend the night in the guest bedrooms.
In the morning they call the tow truck and leave.
About three months later salesman number one opens a letter and can't believe what he reads. He goes to salesman number two and says:
"When we spent the night at the widow's mansion, did you sneak away into her bedroom in the middle of the night?"
"Why, yes I did."
"And did you use my name?"
"Why, yes how did you know?"
"Well, it seems she died and left me her 5 million dollar estate!"

The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so
he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally typed
wrong e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.

Meanwhile..... somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from
her husband`s funeral. He was a minister of many years who was called home
to glory following a sudden heart attack. The widow decided to check her
e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends.
After reading the first message, she fainted. The widow`s son rushed into
the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which
read:
To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I`ve Arrived
Date: 16 May 2002

I know you`re surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now, and
you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones. I`ve just arrived and
have been checked in. I see that everything has been more...