Wiped Jokes / Recent Jokes

A woman was sitting in an airplane waiting for her flight to start. As she waited, a man sat down next to her. She asked him his name. He replied Bob.
About fifteen minutes into the flight Bob sneezed. After sneezing he took out his penis and wiped it off with a tissue. The woman was disgusted, but out of shyness didn't say anything. Thirty minutes later he sneezed again. Again he took out his penis and wiped it off. The woman was again disgusted. But yet again, out of shyness, didn't say anything, but resolved to say something if he did it again. Sure enough about forty-five minutes later he sneezed again. He proceeded to remove his penis from his pants and wipe it off.
By now, the woman was sick of seeing this and asked him why he did it.
The man replied "I have a medical condition. Every time I sneeze I have an orgasm."
The woman, shocked, said "Oh, what do you take for that?"
The man replied "Pepper."

Santa and Banta went into a diner that looked as though it had seen better days. As they slid in to a booth, Banta wiped some crumbs from the seat. Then he took a napkin and wiped some moisture from the table. The waitress came over and asked if they wanted some menus.
"No thanks," said Santa. "I`ll just have a cup of black coffee."
"I`ll have black coffee too," Banta said. "And please make sure the cup is clean."
The waitress shot him a nasty look. She turned and marched off in to the kitchen. Two minutes later, she was back.
"Two cups of black coffee," she announced. "Which one of you wanted the clean cup?"

Two guys were roaring down the road on a motorcycle when the driver slowed up and pulled over. His leather jacket had a broken zipper, and he told his friend, "I can't drive anymore with the air hitting me in the chest like that.""Just put the jacket on backwards." His friend advised. They continued down the road but around the next bend, they lost control and wiped out.A nearby farmer came upon the accident and ran to call the police. They asked him, "Are they showing any signs of life?""Well," the farmer explained, "the driver was until I turned his head around the right way!"

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband is not in bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wiped a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.
"What's the matter, dear?", she whispers as she steps into the room, "Why are you down here at this time of night?".
The husband looks up from his coffee, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 16?" he asks solemnly.
"Yes I do" she replies.
The husband paused. The words were not coming easily. "Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car making love?"
"Yes, I remember" said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continued: "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face more...

Two guys were roaring down the road on a motorcycle when the driver slowed up and pulled over. His leather jacket had a broken zipper, and he told his friend, "I can't drive anymore with the air hitting me in the chest like that."
"Just put the jacket on backwards." His friend advised. They continued down the road but around the next bend, they lost control and wiped out.
A nearby farmer came upon the accident and ran to call the police. They asked him, "Are they showing any signs of life?"
"Well," the farmer explained, "the driver was until I turned his head around the right way!"