Witty Remarks Jokes / Recent Jokes

I heard you got a brain transplant and the brain rejected you!

I think you should live for the moment. But after that, I doubt I'll think so.

Man alive! But I wish you weren't.

I believe in respect for the dead; in fact, I could only respect you if you WERE dead.

Is your name Maple Syrup? It should be, you sap.

You spent so much time trying to get rid of that halitosis that you had only to find out that you are not popular anyway.

You are the kind of person who, when one first meets you, one doesn't like you. But when one gets to know you better, one hates you.

We know that romance brings out the beast in you -- the jackass.
I'm looking forward to the pleasure of your company since I haven't had it yet.

There are several people in this world that I find obnoxious and you are all of them.

All of your girlfriends kiss you with their eyes closed. Considering your face, that's the only more...

We hear you are a lady killer. They take one look at you and die of fright!!

We heard that when you ran away from home your folks sent you a note saying, "Do not come home and all will be forgiven".

You have a good family tree, but the crop is a failure.
I don't consider you a vulture. I consider you something a vulture would eat.

Is your name Amazon? You`re so wide at the mouth.

You are a man who always sticks by his convictions. You will remain a fool no matter how much you get ridiculed for it!

A dope you are and dope will remain.

Completely unlike cocaine.

You add to, not diminish, pain!

We know that you would go to the end of the world for us. But would you stay there?

Your family tree is good, but you are the sap.

We all spring from apes, but you didn't spring far enough.

It cost me five thousand dollars to look up your family history. A more...

1. I can see your point, but I still think you''re full of shit.
2. I don''t know what your problem is, but I''ll bet it''s hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you''ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in
public.
5. I''m really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my
way.
6. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
7. I''m out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
8. I don''t work here. I''m a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can''t understand a damn word you''re
saying.
10. Ahhhh. I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.
11. I like you. You Remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don''t give a damn.
14. I''m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial more...