Work Place Jokes / Recent Jokes
"A friend of mine made a killing in the market today."
"Really?"
"Yeah, he shot the manager of the Acme."
Then there's the time a lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
Despite what Ralph Nader says, the best safety device is a rearview mirror with a cop in it.
Stanley got a job painting the yellow stripes on the highway. His first day he dipped his brush into the bucket and managed to paint an entire mile of yellow lines. The second day he painted half a mile. The rthird day a quarter of a mile.
On the fourth day Stanley's boss showed up and asked, "How come each day you seem to paint less and less?"
"Well, sir," explained Stanley, "that's because each day I get farther and farther away from the bucket."
A policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but wasn't getting many. Then, he discovered the problem -- a 10-year old boy was standing up the road with a hand-painted sign which read "RADAR TRAP AHEAD".
The officer then found a young accomplice down the road with a sign reading "TIPS" and a bucket full of change.
A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar. A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40. The police responded with a mailed photo-of handcuffs.