Work Place Jokes / Recent Jokes
During my surgical residency I was called out of a sound sleep to the emergency room. Unshaven and with tousled hair, I showed up with an equally unpresentable medical student. In the ER we encountered the on-call medical resident and his student, both neatly attired in clean white lab coats.
The resident said to his student, "You can always tell the surgeons by their absolute disregard for appearance."
Two evenings later, I was at a banquet when called to the ER to suture a minor laceration.
I was stitching away -- wearing a tuxedo -- when I encountered that same medical resident. He looked at me, then said to his student, "Sure is sensitive to criticism, isn't he?"
Two psychiatrists were at a convention. As they conversed over a drink, one asked, "What was your most difficult case?"
The other replied, "I had a patient who lived in a pure fantasy world. He believed that an uncle in South America was going to die and leave him a fortune. All day long he waited for a letter to arrive from an attorney. He never went out, he never did anything, he merely sat around and waited for this fantasy letter from this fantasy uncle. I worked with this man eight years."
"What was the result?"
"It was an eight year struggle. Every day for eight years, but I finally cured him -- and then that stupid letter arrived!"
A man and his wife arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up their car, but were told that the keys had been accidentally locked in it. They went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door.
As they watched from the passenger's side, the guy instinctively tried the door handle and discovered it was open.
"Hey," the man announced to the technician, "It's open!"
"I know," answered the young man. "I already got that side."
Mary went to the doctor complaining of body odor.
"Do you wash?" the doc asked the rank young girl.
"Oh, yes," Mary answered. "Each morning, I start at my head and wash down as far as possible. Then I start at my feet and wash up as far up as possible."
"Well," the doc concluded, "go home and wash possible."
A little woman called Mount Sinai Hospital. She said, "Mount Sinai Hospital? Hello, Darling. I'd like to talk with the person who gives the information about the patients. But I don't want to know if the patient is better or doing like expected, or worse. I want all the information from top to bottom, from A to Z."
The voice on the other line said, "Would you hold the line please, that's a very unusual request."
Then a very authoritative voice came on and said, "Are you the lady who is calling about one of the patients?"
She said, "Yes, darling! I'd like to know the information about Sarah Finkel in Room 302."
He said, "Finkel. Finkel. Let me see. Farber, Feinberg -- Finkel. Oh yes, Mrs. Finkel is doing very well. In fact, she's had two full meals, her doctor says if she continues improving as she is, he is going to send her home Tuesday at twelve o'clock."
The woman said, more...
An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a stay-over in another city. Upon their arrival the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.
The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened to her.
She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room.
"You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"
The stewardess replied, "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says' Do Not Disturb'!"
A man went to apply for a job. After filling out all of his applications he waited anxiously for the outcome. The employer read all his applications & said, "We have an opening for people like you." "Oh, great," the man said, "What is it?"
"It's called the door."