World Jokes / Recent Jokes
Did you hear about the Newfie Who thought nipples were Japanese children?
Did you hear about the Newfie who took a course in exotic lovemaking and announced that he'd never be able to face his girl again?
Did you hear about the nurse they thought had drowned until they found her under the doc?
Did you hear about the perverted australian who left his wife and returned to Sydney?
Did you hear about the pessimistic historian whose latest book has chapter headings that read "World War One", "World War Two" and "Watch This Space"?
Did you hear about the procedure whereby a Nobel Prize winner furnishes sperm for artificial-insemination purposes that is referred to as A STROKE OF GENIUS?
Did you hear about the real smart girl who could play post-office all night without getting any mail in her box?
Did you hear about the recent cigarette survey that disclosed that 99% of the men who have tried Camels have gone back to women?
Did more...
Nothing in the world is more expensive than a women who's free for the weekend.
It is truly astonishing what happens in Bible stories when they are retold by young scholars around the world... In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so He took the Sabbath off. Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark, which the animals came on to in pears. Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night. The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals. Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah. Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the apostles. Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Amendments. The First Commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple. The Fifth Commandment is to more...
An old man and his wife had just gone to bed. After laying in bed for a few minutes the old man cut a fart and says, "Seven Points."
His wife rolls over and asks, "What in the world was that?"
The old man says, "Touchdown, I'm ahead 7 to nothing."
A few minutes later the wife lets one go and says, "Touchdown, Tie score."
After about ten minutes later the old man farts again and says, "Touchdown I'm ahead 14-7."
Now starting to get into this, the wife quickly farts again and says, "Touchdown tie score."
The old man strains really hard but to no avail; he can't fart, so not to be outdone by his wife, he gives it everything he has and poops in the bed.
The wife asks, "Now what in the world was that?"
The old man replies, "Half-Time, Switch-Sides"
In parts of the world, people still pray in the streets. In this country they're called pedestrians.
Once the head teacher of a primary school walked into a classroom and started firing questions at the students.
Head Teacher: "Who made the world?"
The students shivered with fright but no one answered.
Head Teacher: "Children, I asked, WHO MADE THE WORLD?"
The teacher's voice was getting louder and the kids were freaking out.
The head teacher banged his fist on the front desk and yelled: "I SAID, WHO MADE THE WORLD?"
One of the students on the front seat yelled out in fright,
"OH PLEASE SIR, IT WASN'T ME!"
The world's most incredibly lazy man found a magic lamp. He rubbed it and a genie appeared and granted him three wishes. He wished for a horse, a sumo wrestler and a squirrel.
"They're yours, but what are they for?" the genie asked.
"I'm tired of walking everywhere--I want to just ride the horse. The sumo wrestler is so that I won't have to work to get on the horse."
"But the squirrel?" asked the genie.
"I need something to go' click-click' to start the horse!!!"