Worried Jokes / Recent Jokes
A woman came to the psychiatrist worried. "Doctor," she said, "I can't sleep at night. When I'm in the next room, I have this dreadful fear that I won't hear the baby if he falls out of the crib at night. What should I do?" "Easy," said the doctor. "Just take the carpet off the floor."
There once was an old man aged 50, who had a lazy son aged 30. The son couldn't earn his own living, and still depended on his old father for food and clothing. The old man was very worried about him, so he took him to the fortune teller to have his fortune told. The father and son both belie the fortune teller's prediction that the father would live to 80 and the son to 62. After having found out how long they were going to live the son was very sad. His father comforted him. "Don't be so sad! You are only 30 now, and still have 32 years of good days ahead of you." "I'm not worrying about my own age. It's just your age which causes me great anxiety," the son said. Upon hearing his words, the father was deeply moved, and in tears said, "Don't worry about me so much I've got 30 years ahead of me too." "I'm not worried about your age either," said the son, "I have figured out that you'll die two years earlier than I. So whom will I depend on more...
Worried because they hadnt heard anything for days from the widow in the neighboring apartment, Mrs. Silver said to her son, "Timmy, would you go next door and see how old Mrs. Kirkland is?"A few minutes later, Timmy returned."Well," asked Mrs. Silver, "is she all right?""Shes fine, except that shes angrywith you.""With me?" the woman exclaimed. "Whatever for?""She said Its none of your business how old she is," snickered Timmy.
A wife begins to get a little worried because her husband has not arrived home on time from his regular Saturday afternoon golf game. As the hours pass she becomes more and more concerned until at 8 p. m. the husband finally pulls into the driveway. "What happened?" says the wife. "You should have been home hours ago!" "Harry had a heart attack at the third hole," replied the husband. "Oh, that's terrible," says the wife. "I know," the husband answers. "All day long it was hit the ball, drag Harry, hit the ball, drag Harry..."
Top Ten Reasons Eve Was Created10. God was worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the garden because he would not ask for directions.9. God knew that one day Adam would require someone to locate and hand him the remote.8. God knew Adam would never go out and buy himself a new fig leaf when his wore out and would therefore need Eve to buy one for him.7. God knew Adam would never be able to make a doctor`s, dentist, or haircut appointment for himself.6. God knew Adam would never remember which night to put he garbage on the curb.5. God knew if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing.4. As the Keeper of the Garden, Adam would never remember where he left his tools.3. Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden.2. As the Bible says, It is not good for man to be alone!And finally, the Number 1 reason why God created Eve. . 1. When God finished the creation of more...
At an out of town bar, a young man was watching a very pretty brunette in a corner booth. After a couple of drinks he got up the nerve to walk over and ask to buy her a drink. To his surprise she invited him to join her.
They have a great time and she invites him to her place after a few more drinks.
When they arrive at her place she says she wants to get comfortable and she leaves the room to change. The young man pulls out a cigerette but can't find a lighter so he asks the lady if she has one.
She tells him to look in the drawer by the bed. He does and he finds the matches and a picture of a man stuffed into the drawer.
The woman comes out of the bathroom in a slinky teddy and they start to go at it pretty heavy, but the young man starts to get nervous about the picture. So he decides to ask. "Is that a picture of your husband in the drawer?"
" No silly." she answered, and they started up again.
She rolled over for him to enter her for more...
A minister went to the school where his son was a student to enquire about his son. When the principal told him that his son was poor in all subjects, was very shy and did not mix with children, the minister replied, "I am not worried about his being poor in learning. What I am worried about is that he is shy." The principal looked puzzled. The minister continued after a pause, "Do whatever you can to make him bold and free from shyness. He is to become a minister. For that he must be bold and free from shyness. Once he becomes a minister, he will be a master of all subjects."