Wrench Jokes / Recent Jokes
An old farmer is driving down a country road in his pickup truck when it starts making an awful noise. He stops the truck and crawls underneath to investigate the problem. "Hmmm...muffler's loose. I bet I could fix that if I had a Monkey Wrench." He says. He crawls out from underneath the truck and looks down the road. Off in the distance he sees a small house. There is a black woman and several small black children playing in the yard. The Farmer yells to her "Hey Miss, do you happen to have Monkey Wrench?" "What?" She yells back. "A Monkey Wrench!!?" He screams. "What?" "MONKEY WRENCH!!?...MONKEY WRENCH!!?" "Naw, this ain't no Monkey Ranch, its a Day Care Center!"
a construction worker was trying to call one of his co-workers but due to the loud noise around he decided to throw a bolt at him. he finally got the attention of his co-worker. he then signaled to come up and help him. awkardly the co-worker starts masturbating. furious the construction worker throws a wrench. finally the co-worker goes up and says,"why you throw the wrench at me I was trying to tell you I was coming!"
WOMEN
Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 since the last oil change.
Drink a cup of coffee.
15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.
MEN
Go to auto parts store and write a check for 50 dollars for oil, filter, oil lift (AKA kitty litter), hand cleaner and scented tree.
Discover that the used oil container is full. Instead of taking back to auto parts store to recycle, dump in hole in back yard.
Open a beer and drink it.
Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
Place drain pan under engine.
Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
Give up and use crescent wrench.
Unscrew drain plug.
Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil; get hot oil on you in process.
Clean up.
Have another beer while oil is draining.
Look for oil filter wrench.
Give up; poke oil filter with Phillips more...