Yanked Jokes

A couple has a male friend visiting from out-of-state, when an unexpected blizzard blows in and keeps him from traveling. Since the couple doesn't have a guest room, the friend says he'll find a nearby hotel and be on his way in the morning.
"Nonsense," says the wife. "Our bed is plenty big enough for all three of us, and we are all friends here." The husband agrees, and before long they're settled in: Husband in the middle, wife on his left, friend on his right.
After a while, the husband begins snoring. The wife sneaks over to the friend's side of the bed and invites him to have sex with her. Naturally he'd like to, but he's reluctant. "We're in the same bed with your husband! He'll wake up, and he'll kill me," he says.
"Don't worry about it," she says, "he's such a sound sleeper, he'll never notice. If you don't believe me, just yank a hair out of his butt. He won't even wake up."
The friend does and, sure enough, more...

A couple has a male friend who's visiting from out-of-state, when an unexpected blizzard blows in, and keeps him from traveling. Since the couple has no guest room, he states his intention to find a nearby hotel, and be on his way in the morning.

"Nonsense," says the wife. "Our bed is plenty big enough for all three of us, and we're all friends here." The husband concurs, and before long they're settled in: husband in the middle, wife on his left, friend on his right.

After a while, the husband begins snoring, and the wife sneaks over to the friend's side of the bed, and invites him to have sex with her. Naturally, he'd like to, but he's reluctant. "We're in the same bed with your husband! He'll wake up, and he'll kill me."

"Don't worry about it," she says, "he's such a sound sleeper, he'll never notice. If you don't believe me, just yank a hair off of his ass. He won't even wake up."

So the more...

During the French Revolution, three professionals were arrested and convicted of having bourgeois values. They were a doctor, a lawyer, and an engineer.
They were to be led to the guillotine one by one. The crowd was roaring with anticipated pleasure.
First up was the doctor. How dare he enrich himself through other people's illnesses? Access to basic health care is a right, right?
The doctor was placed in the guillotine, and the lanyard was yanked. The blade started on its massive, implacable way down. And lurched to a stop.
The official in charge declared that it would be inhumane to make the doctor suffer this way more than once, so he was setting the doctor free. The crowd howled.
The executioner checked his equipment. All was in order. He put a small tree branch in, and successfully lopped it in half. He re-sharpened the blade.
Next up was the lawyer. Who needs an excuse to wish such a lying, cheating scoundrel dead? The crowd was thunderous in its more...