Yellow Jokes / Recent Jokes

A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien in the bushes right by the border fence, he pulls him out and says "Sorry, you know the law, you've got to go back across the border right now."
The Mexican man pleads with them, "No, noooo Senior, I must stay in de USA! Pleeeze!"
The Border Patrol Agent thinks to himself, I'm going to make it hard for him and says "Ok, I'll let you stay if you can use 3 english words in a sentence."
The Mexican, of course, agrees.
The Border Patrol Agent tells him, "The 3 words are Green, Pink and Yellow... Now use all them in 1 sentence."
The Mexican man thinks really hard for about 2 minutes, then says, "Hmmm, Ok... The phone, it went Green, Green, Green, I Pink it up and sez Yellow?"

Yo Mama is so fat she saw a yellow bus full of white kids and said, "STOP THAT TWINKIE!!"

A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien in the bushes right by the border fence, he pulls him out and says "Sorry, you know the law, you've got to go back across the border right now."The mexican man pleads with them, "No, noooo Senior, I must stay in de USA! Pleeeze!"The Border Patrol Agent thinks to himself, I'm going to make it hard for him and says "Ok, I'll let you stay if you can use 3 english words in a sentence".The Mexican man of course agrees.The Border Patrol Agent tells him, "The 3 words are: Green, Pink and Yellow. Now use them in 1 sentence."The Mexican man thinks really hard for about 2 minutes, then says,"Hmmm, Ok. The phone, it went Green, Green, Green,... I Pink it up, and sez Yellow?"

you mammas teethare so yellow when she closes her mouth her stomach lights up

Those who have been driving for many years are familiar with macho driving techniques. Newer drivers however, are probably curious as to what these people are up to. Here's some tips for macho driving:
Drive a pickup truck whether you need one or not. It must be very large with lots of blinding yellow fog lights. If it doesn't have them already, purchase used tires from MX missile transport trucks (roughly 6' in diameter); raise the suspension to allow clearance over the whimps that drive cars.
Practice your best scowl. Remember, that this is the only expression you are permitted to show once you're behind the wheel.
Do not be intimidated by the weather. It should never affect your driving style. Under no circumstances should you use windshield wipers. They're for appearance only. If snow blankets your vehicle, clear a peep-hole just large enough to see what's in front of you. You are not permitted to leave your vehicle to do this however! If you can't reach around to the more...

You think those yellow traffic signs that say "Slow children at play" means the kids in the area are not too bright.
At least one of the kitchen appliances on your front porch is more than forty years old.
You think "Country & Western" covers both types of music.

Q: Why is urine yellow and sperm white? A: So men can tell if they are coming or going.