"2 jokes about TV stations" joke

Our local cable company recently took over one of the channels and began 24-hour adverstising on it.
One of the programmes is called "The Dating Network (TM)" and consists of people placing personal ads on for this hour that it's on every night.
Cable advertises the show on other stations, and the ad goes something like this: "Successful singles don't do to singles bars! They don't go on special singles cruises! No, successful singles use The Dating Network (TM)..."
Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't the object of going to bars and cruises and The Dating Network (TM) to be *un*successful at being single...?
Turning back to football (some call it soccer!), our local ABC affiliate, the one that blocks out NYPD Blue with Baywatch 'cause NYPD Blue really isn't quality programming, refuses to cover the World Cup.
They announced that they didn't feel that the audience would be strong enough to show the matches, so they're instead showing movies during the game. Movies like "Blind Date" (it had Bruce Willis - if you didn't see it, don't feel left out, 'cause no one else did either) and "Mannequin 2: On the Move".
Boy, I'd much rather watch these winners than see a sporting event that takes place once evry four years and for the first time is being played in this *great* country of ours...
-Ben Scripps
Central Michigan University

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