"ARMY" joke

ARMY: Never forget your weapon is made by the lowest bidder.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

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Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

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A blind man was describing his favorite sport, parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him: "I am placed in the door with my seeing eye dog and told when to jump. My hand is placed on my release ring for me and out I go with more...

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Q. What's the first question during a feminist quiz night
A. What you looking at?

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A businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round-trip ticket. If he could just get to the airport he could get himself home.
So he went out to the front of the casino more...

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