"A Mouse Story" joke

A city mouse had a country mouse stay for the weekend, and spent the whole time offering urban advice. On the last evening of the country mouse's visit, they were dining in the kitchen when in
came the largest cat the country mouse had ever seen.
"Don't panic," said the town mouse, "Leave this to me."
Marching up to the cat she said, "Bow wow wow wow! The cat turned and ran from the room.
"How did you do that?" asked the country mouse.
"Like I told you," said the town mouse, "it pays to learn a second language."

Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

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How many letters are in the alphabet?
There are 11 letters in "THE ALPHABET"
Did you say 26? :)

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A man was helping one of his cows give birth, when he noticed his 5-year-old son standing wide-eyed at the fence, taking in the whole event.
The man thought, "Oh, this is just great... he's only 5 and I'm going to have to start explaining all about the birds and the more...

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Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

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Q: What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?
A: You can un-screw a lightbulb!

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