"A Muslim view of Britain" joke

The following is a verbatim quote of the opening paragraphs of a
(serious) article on the effect that Salman Rushdie's book "The
Satanic Verses" is having on Britain's Muslim community. The article
is by Jack O'Sullivan, and appeared in The Independent, a UK "quality"
national newspaper, on 5 Jan 1990.
A joke going around Bradford concerns two Muslims chatting in a halal
shop. The first says he has decided to take the Government's advice to
integrate and be like the British. "Oh yes," replies his friend. "And
how will you do that?"
"I'm going to take my secretary to Paris for a dirty weekend," the
first man says.
"But you don't have a secretary," the friend points out.
"That doesn't matter," says the first. "I'll take my wife and say
she's my secretary."