"A Penthouse In Heaven" joke

The Pope dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, Saint Peter shows him to his new quarters which turn out to be a tiny one bedroom apartment. The Pope is horrified and wants to know why he doesn't have the penthouse apartment, which is huge. Saint Peter informs him that the resident of the penthouse is a lawyer. "A lawyer," says the Pope. "But I'm the Pope, surely I'm more important." "With respect Sir," says Saint Peter, "We have lots of Pope's up here, but we only have ONE lawyer!"

A blonde decided to commit suicide by hanging herself from a tree in the park.
A few days later, a man was walking his dog and spotted her hanging from the tree. He asks the blonde what she is doing and she replies, "I'm hanging myself."
"You're supposed more...

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In Year 1981
1. Prince Charles got married
2. Liverpool crowned Champions of Europe
3. Australia lost the Ashes
4. Pope Died
In Year 2005
1. Prince Charles got married (again)
2. Liverpool crowned Champions of Europe(again)
3. Australia lost the more...

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A large, powerfully-built guy named Raymond meets a woman named Polly at a bar. After a number of drinks, they agree to go back to his place. As they are making out in the bedroom, Raymond stands up and starts to undress. After he takes his shirt off, Raymond flexes his muscular more...

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A husband had to leave town on a buisness trip his wife was the flirtatious type so he thought about buying an infatable doll but that was too close to another man for him so he went to a adult toy store and talked to the old man behind the counter. The old man said well I more...

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Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight
safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit more entertaining. Here
are some real examples that have been heard or reported.
From a Southwest Airlines employee: "There may more...

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