"A collection of insults 33" joke

Defective hard drive / boot sector.

Dense as a London fog.

Diarrhea of the mouth; constipation of the ideas.

Differently clued. -- Dave Clark

Dock doesn't quite reach the water.

Does aerobics... in his head.

Does everything the hard way, like making love standing up in a hammock.

Doesn't adjust for leap years.

Doesn't consider his drive a slice unless it lands two fairways over.

Doesn't have a round in every chamber.

Doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box.

Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash / cups in the cupboard / groceries in the same bag.

Doesn't have all the dots on his dice / pens in her plotter.

Doesn't have both oars in the water -- can't even find the damn boat.

Doesn't have elastic in both of his socks.