"A collection of insults 35" joke

Had a head crash.
Half a bubble off plumb. - attributed to Mark Twain
Happiness is seeing her picture on a milk carton.
Hard to distinguish from the tail end of a horse.
Hard to tell if he has an ace up his sleeve or if the ace is missing from his deck altogether.
Has a bus fault problem.
Has a few wait states.
Has a full six-pack but lacks the plastic thing to hold them together.
Has a leak in his ceiling.
Has a one-way ticket on the Disoriented Express.
Has a pulse, but that’s about all.
Has a random memory fault.
Has a slow clock.
Has a sparse matrix. (Beware, “matrix” comes from the Latin “womb”.)
Has a two-bit operating system.