Fault Jokes

An angel wrote:
Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.
To handle yourself, use your head; To handle others, use your heart.
Anger is only one letter short of danger.
If someone betrays you once, it's his fault; if he betrays you twice, it's your fault.
Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people.
God gives every bird it's food, But He does not throw it into it's nest.
He who loses money, loses much; He who loses a friend, loses more; He who loses faith, loses all.
Beautiful young people are acts of nature, But beautiful old people are works of art.
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself.
The tongue weighs practically nothing, but so few people can hold it.

A Russian and a Pollack get into a car accident. They are yelling at each
other saying that it was the other guys fault. Finally the Pollack says:
Your right its my fault. go ahead and call the police and just get it over with.
The Russian says:
No, im going to do what we do in my country.
The Pollack says:
Well what is that?
The Russian says:
Well you have to sit in a circle and not get out of it no matter what happens.
The pollack says:
Ok ill do it.
So the pollack goes and sits in a circle in the middle of the road, the
Russian pulls out a pocket knife and slashes the guys tires. He turned
around and saw that the Pollack was laughing, and that made him mad, so he
got out his crowbar and smashed all the guys windows. He turned around and
the guy was laughing even harder. This made him even madder so he took out
a can of gas and torched the guys car, when he turned around the Pollack
was rolling around on the ground more...

This just breaks my heart... please pass it on so
more can help this unfortunate child...

> Dear Friend:
> I am a very sick boy little boy. My mother is typing
> this for me, because I can't. She is crying.
> Don't cry, Mommy! Mommy is always sad, but she says
> it's not my fault. I asked her if it was God's fault,
> but she didn't answer, and only started crying harder,
> so I don't ask her that anymore.
> The reason she is so sad is that I'm so sick. I was
> born without a body. It doesn't hurt, except when I go
> to sleep.
> The doctors gave me an artificial body. My body is a
> burlap bag filled with leaves. The doctors said that
> was the best they could do on account of us having no
> money or insurance. I would like to have a body
> transplant, but we need more money.
> Mommy doesn't work because she said employers don't
> hire crying people. I said, "Don't cry, Mommy," and more...

An angel wrote:Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.To handle yourself, use your head; To handle others, use your heart.Anger is only one letter short of danger.If someone betrays you once, it's his fault; if he betrays you twice, it's your fault.Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people.God gives every bird it's food, But He does not throw it into it's nest.He who loses money, loses much; He who loses a friend, loses more; He who loses faith, loses all.Beautiful young people are acts of nature, But beautiful old people are works of art.Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself.The tongue weighs practically nothing, but so few people can hold it.

The local priest returns to his car to find a traffic warden in the process of giving him a parking ticket.
Priest: "Hello there, you couldn't see you're way clear to forgetting about that could you, my son."
TW: "Sorry, farther, once I've started filling the form in I've got to finish"
Priest: "That's OK. It's my fault. I parked in the wrong place."
TW: "That's very good of you, we usually get all kinds of abuse in these circumstances."
Priest: "Wouldn't here of such a thing, after all it was my fault. We're having a tea party this weekend would you like to come?"
TW: "Well, that is good of you, farther. Yes, I'll be there. It's so refreshing to talk to someone who understands the position I'm in."
Priest: "Maybe you would like to bring you're mother and farther along, as well, and I could marry them!"