"A judge in a semi-small city was hearing a drunk-driving" joke
A judge in a semi-small city was hearing a drunk-driving case and the defendant, who had both a record and a reputation for driving under the influence, demanded a jury trial. It was nearly 4 P. M. And getting a jury would take time, so the judge called a recess and went out in the hall looking to impanel anyone available for jury duty. He found a dozen lawyers in the main lobby and told them that they were a jury. The lawyers thought this would be a novel experience and so followed the judge back to the courtroom.
The trial was over in about 10 minutes and it was very clear that the defendant was guilty. The jury went into the jury room, the judge started getting ready to go home, and everyone waited. After nearly three hours, the judge was totally out of patience and sent the bailiff into the jury-room to see what was holding up the verdict.
When the bailiff returned, the judge said, "Well have they got a verdict yet?"
The bailiff shook his head and said, "Verdict? Hell, they're still doing nominating speeches for the foreman's position!"
A bengali and indian and a english and a PAKI enter into a bar... all of a sudden the bengali throw's his glass in the air takes out his shot gun and shoot's it.... hes say's'Glasses in bangledesh are so cheap u dont use with the same one twice.... soon the indian throws his more...
I caught a twenty pound salmon last week."
"Were there any witnesses?"
"There sure were. If there hadn't been, it would have been forty pounds."
Two employees form the gas company were at a house call. The younger man said to the older one, "Geez, you''re old!"
"Yeah, that may be so, but I can still outrun you," replied the older employee.
"How about a foot race to see if more...