"A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is ..." joke

your momas so fat when she stepped on the scale it said new high score.

your momas so fat when she steped on a scale the scale said o shit i want ur weight not ur fone number

A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...

Your Mamma's so fat, when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!

My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.