"A special kind of moral-belt" joke
It was in the mid of the seventh century. Before going on a cruisade the Count put on a special kind of moral-belt on his wife. It had a built-in guillotine that automatically would neutralize anything wanting to get into "the noble part" of her.
Three years later, he returned to his grounds. As he first spotted the people there, he noticed that something had happened while he had been away on the seas. He suspected, but didn't like the thought, that something dealing with his wife had occured.
So, he called all men of the village and told them to line up at the main square, where he ordered them to take off their pants. Horrified, he saw that the guillotine of his had been exceptionally efficient. There wasn't any man left in the village that could do "a man's work".
But - there was one small guy, beside them all, that seemed to be all fine. The Count, surpressing his disappointment, approached him and said in a sad voice: "So, you were the only one I could trust?"
The guy opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something, but not a word came out of his mouth.
The Count was surprised: "What is it? Why aren't you talking to me? Have you lost your tongue..."
An Italian, an American, and a Polak were captured by the French for various crimes and are taken to the Guillotine.The executioner places the Italian on the block and asks if he has any last words. The Italian replies, "I pray to the Virgin Mary that I may live." They more...
A swede, a norwegian and a dane were arrested in France during the french revolution. They each got to choose which way they would die. The norwegian chose the guillotine, because he saw it as the latest fashion. His head went under, but the blade stopped 1 inch from his neck. more...