"According to the latest surveys" joke

According to the latest surveys, when making love, most married men fantasize that their wives aren't fantasizing.

What is the definition of eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way intersection.

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Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

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A American guy named Paul challenged a Filipino
American: use my name four times in a sentence
Filipino: Paul be carePaul you mightPaul in the swimmingPaul

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Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 lbs.

Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes

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First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

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