"After Katunayake Airport Attack (Sri Lankan Joke)" joke

Some of the possible headlines for Daily News proposed by the govt media unit for the day following after the Katunayaka airport attack.
1. UNP agents and thugs attack and destroy the airport.
2. Ranil suspected of transporting Terrorists to the airport.
3. President's bravery saves the airport from complete disaster.
4. President parised by the masses for her bravery.
5. General Anuruddha promoted to Field Marshal after fighting alongside Army Commandos and saving lives at the airport.
6. SriLankan airlines aircraft suffer minor damage from small arms fire.
7. PA uncovers plot to assassinate President after Ranil along with UNP agents steal MI-24 Helicopter gunship!!

8. Airforce plane suffer minor damage from the morning blast.

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