Minor Jokes

It started out as just a simple fender-bender but a couple of hours later the driver, Chinnamma Sebastian, 49, Philadelphia, PA, wound up in a hospital in critical condition with multiple injuries. Sebastian stood in a grassy area near the location of the minor accident and watched as her car was hooked to the flatbed of a tow truck, when suddenly the 1988 Mercedes went into reverse and rolled off. The car ran over her and hit the tow truck driver, who suffered minor injuries. It finally stopped when it hit another tow truck.

clef: what you try never to fall off of.
bass clef: where you wind up if you do fall off.
altos: not to be confused with "Tom's toes," "Bubba's toes" or "Dori-toes".
minor third: your approximate age and grade at the completion of formal schooling.
melodic minor: loretta Lynn's singing dad.
12-tone scale: the thing the State Police weigh your tractor trailer truck with.
quarter tone: what most standard pickups can haul.
sonata: what you get from a bad cold or hay fever.
clarinet: name used on your second daughter if you've already used Betty Jo.
cello: the proper way to answer the phone.

Whereas, on or about the night prior to Christmas, there did occur
at a certain improved piece of real property (hereinafter "the
house") a general lack of stirring by all creatures therein,
including, but not limited to, a mouse.

A variety of foot apparel, e. g., stocking, socks, etc., had been
affixed by and around the chimney in said House in the hope and/or
belief that St. Nick a/k/a/ St. Nicholas a/k/a/ Santa Claus
(hereinafter "Claus") would arrive at sometime thereafter.

The minor residents, i. e. the children, of the aforementioned House
were located in their individual beds and were engaged in nocturnal
hallucinations, i. e. dreams, wherein vision of confectionery
treats, including, but not limited to, candies, nuts and/or sugar
plums, did dance, cavort and otherwise appear in said dreams.

Whereupon the party of the first part (sometimes hereinafter
referred to as more...

Childhood: Childhood is that wonderful time of your life when all you have to do to lose weight is to take a bath.
Vacations: People go on vacation to forget things, and when they open their suitcases, they realise they did.
Minor Surgery. A minor surgery is one performed on someone else.
Mealtime: Mealtime is when the kids sit down to continue eating.
Luck: Of course there's such a thing as luck. How else could you explain your enemies' successes?
Wedding: Showers for the bride and curtains for the groom!

A C, an E-flat, and a G go into a bar. The bartender says: "Sorry, but we
don't
serve minors." So, the E-flat leaves, and the C and the G have an open fifth
between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished: the G is out
flat. An F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp
enough.A D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying, "Excuse
me. I'll just be a second." An A comes into the bar, but the bartender is
not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. Then the bartender
notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and exclaims: "Get out now!
You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight."The E-flat, not easily deflated, comes back to the bar the next night in a
3-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender (who used to have a
nice corporate job until his company downsized) says: "You're looking sharp
tonight, come on in! This more...