"All about the F-word" joke

Perhaps one of the most interesting and colourful words in the english language is the word "
fuck."
It is the one magical word which by just its sound can describe pain, pleasure, hate and love.
"
Fuck"
falls into many grammatical categories. It can be used as verb both transitive (John fucked Mary) and intransitive (Mary was fucked by John). It can be an active verb (John really gives a fuck), or a passive verb (Mary really doesn't give a fuck), or a noun (Mary is a fine fuck). It can be used as an adjective (Mary is fucking beautiful). It should be obvious now that there are not many words as versatile as "
fuck."
Besides its sexual connotation, this lovely word can be used to describe many situations:
Fraud: I got fucked by my insurance agent.
Dismay: Oh, fuck it!
Problem: I guess I'm fucked now.
Aggression: Fuck you.
Passive: Fuck me.
Confusion: What the fuck?
Difficulty: I can't understand this fucking business.
Despair: Fucked again.
Philosophical: Who gives a fuck?
Religious: Holy Fuck.
Incompetence: He's all fucked up.
Laziness: He just fucks about.
Displeasure: What the fuck is going on?
Rebellion: Fuck off!
Surprise: Fucking Incredible!
It can be used in descriptive anatomy - He's a fucking asshole.
It can be used to tell time - It's five fucking thirty.
It can be used in business - How did I get this fucking job?
It can be a prediction - Oh, will I get fucked.
It can have maternal connotations - as in "
Mother Fucker."
It can be nautical - Fuck the Admiral.
It can be political - Fuck Reagan.
It can open the door to wonderful relationships - "
let's fuck."
It can be used to enhance the meaning of a word - as in Beautifuckingful, Terfuckingific or Absofuckinglutely.
The mind is fairly boggled at the many many creative uses. How could anyone be offended when you say "
fuck?"
Use it in your daily speech! It adds to your prestige.
Today tell someone "
Fuck You."