"An old sailor goes to a brothel..." joke

An old sailor goes to a brothel, where he chooses his girl and begins." How am I doing?" He asks." Three knots," she replies." Three knots? What's that mean?" "You're not hard, you're not in, and you're not getting your money back."

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

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There's a Space Shuttle mission to the moon with 2 monkeys and a woman on board.

The headquarters in the US calls:"Monkey #1, Monkey #1 report to comms for instructions."
He sits down and he is told to release the pressure in compartment 1, increase the more...

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My mate Dave is serving a life sentence for something he didn't do.
He didn't wipe his fingerprints off the knife.

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I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately
needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my
gas with the beat of the music.

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee,
and more...

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A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.
Indeed, the ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands more...

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