"Auto Defense" joke

Dad -' 'Son, come in here, we need to talk.''

Son -' 'What's up, Dad?''

Dad -' 'There's a scratch down the side of the car. Did you do it?''

Son -' 'I don't believe, if I understand the definition of a' scratch the car, that I can say, truthfully, that I scratched the car.''

Dad -' 'Well, it wasn't there yesterday, and you drove the car last night, and no one has driven it since. How can you explain the scratch?''

Son -' 'Well, as I've said before, I have no recollection of scratching the car. While it is true that I did take the car out last night, I did not scratch it.''

Dad -' 'But your sister, Monica, has told me she saw you back the car against the mailbox at the end of the driveway, heard a loud scraping sound, saw you get out to examine the car, and then drive away. So again I'll ask you, yes or no, did you scratch the car?''

Son -' 'Oh, you mean you think you have evidence to prove I scratched it. Well, you see, I understood you to mean did' 'I'' scratch the car. I stand by my earlier statement, that I did not scratch the car.''

Dad -' 'Are you trying to tell me you didn't drive the car into the mailbox?''

Son -' 'Well, you see sir, I was trying to drive the car into the street. I mishandled the steering of the car, and it resulted in direct contact with the mailbox, though that was clearly not my intent.''

Dad-' 'So you are saying that you did hit the mailbox?''

Son -' 'No sir, that's not my statement. I'll refer you back to my original statement that I did not scratch the car.''

Dad -' 'But the car did hit the mailbox and the car did get scratched as a result of this contact?''

Son -' 'Well yes, I suppose you could look at it that way.''

Dad -' 'So you lied to me when you said you did not scratch the car?''

Son -' 'No! No, that's not correct. Your question was' 'Did I scratch the car?'' From a strict legal definition, as I understood the meaning of that sentence, I did not scratch the car...the mailbox did...I was merely present when the scratching occurred. So my answer of' 'No'' when you asked' 'Did I scratch the car'' was legally correct, although I did not volunteer information.''

Dad -' 'Where did you learn to talk like a complete idiot?''

Son -' 'From the President of the United States.''