"Ballad of the Bobbitt Hillbillies" joke

Come and listen to my story 'bout a man named John
A poor ex-Marine with a little fraction gone
It seems one night after getting with his wife
She lopped off his dong with the swipe of a knife.
PENIS, that is.
Clean cut.
Missed his nuts.
Well, the next thing you know there's a Ginsu by John's side
And Lorena's in the car taking Willie for a ride
But she soon got tired of her purple-headed friend
And tossed him out the window as she rounded the next bend.
CURVE, that is.
Tossed the nub.
In the shrub.
Then she went to the cops and confessed to the attack
So they called out the hounds just to get his weenie back
They sniffed and they barked and they pointed "over there!"
To John Wayne's henry that was waving in the air.
FOUND, that is.
By a fence.
Evidence.
Now Peter and John couldn't stay apart too long
So a Dick Doctor said, "Hey, I can fix that dong."
A needle and thread is all we're gonna need
And the whole world waited 'til they heard that John had peed.
WHIZZED, that is.
Even seam.
Straight stream.
Johnny healed and he hardened and he took his case to court
With a half-assed lawyer cause his assets came up short
They cleared her of assault and acquitted him of rape
And his pecker was the only thing that wasn't shown on tape.
VIDEO, that is.
Unexposed.
Case Closed.