"Blind Man At The Lumber Yard" joke
A lumber yard advertised a job opening and the only applicant was a blind man. The yard foreman interviewed the blind man and informed him that the ability to see was critical to the position because the employee would have to find lumber, measure it and cut it for the customers. The blind man said, "I have an extremely keen sense of smell so I can find the needed lumber, and I have a special braille measuring device to measure the wood, and I have a special saw to cut the wood. I can do anything a person with 20:20 vision can do."
To test this, the foreman brought in 10 pieces of lumber, all different types, depths, widths and lengths. He told the blind man to identify each piece of lumber. The blind man held the first piece of lumber to his nose and said, "This is white pine." He then measured it and said, "It's a two by four, 6 feet long." He was absolutely right. He then went on to accurately identify and measure every piece of wood - fir, mahogany, redwood, cedar, cherry wood, walnut, etc.
The foreman then went into the owner's office and told him about this amazing blind man applying for the job. The owner said, "I don't care how good he is, we'll be the laughing stock of lumber yards if we have a blind man working in the yard." The owner directed the foreman to somehow, someway give this guy a piece of wood that no way could he identify. So, the foreman went out into the yard and found an old solid wood door that had been weathered for years. He then took the door into the secretary's office and asked her to spend a few minutes sitting on the door surface in the nude. She followed the instructions and really ground her butt end into the wood.
Then, the foreman took the door out to the blind man and asked him to identify what the piece of wood was. The blind man put his nose up to the door and sniffed and had a real confused look on his face. The foreman, the owner and the secretary were having a hard time keeping from laughing. Finally the blind man said, "Damn, if I didn't know better I'd say this is the shit-house door from a tuna boat!"
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