"Blond medical terminology" joke

Artery - Study of paintings
Bacteria - Back door of cafeteria
Barium - What doctors do when treatment fails
Bowel - Letter like A.E.I.O.U
Caesarean section - District in Rome
Cat scan - Searching for kitty
Cauterize - Made eye contact with her
Colic - Sheep dog
Coma - A punctuation mark
Congenital - Friendly
D&C - Where Washington is
Diarrhea - Journal of daily events
Dilate - To live long
Enema - Not a friend
Fester - Quicker
Fibula - A small lie
G.I. Series - Soldiers' ball game
Grippe - Suitcase
Hangnail - Coathook
Impotent - Distinguished, well known
Intense pain - Torture in a teepee
Labor pain - Got hurt at work
Medical staff - Doctor's cane
Morbid - Higher offer
Nitrate - Cheaper than day rate
Node - Was aware of
Outpatient - Person who had fainted
Pelvis - Cousin of Elvis
Post operative - Letter carrier
Protein - Favoring young people
Rectum - It almost killed him
Recovery room - Place to do upholstery
Rheumatic - Amorous
Scar - Rolled tobacco leaf
Secretion - Hiding anything
Seizure - Roman emperor
Serology - Study of knighthood
Tablet - Small table
Terminal illness - Sickness at airport
Tibia - Country in North Africa
Tumor - An extra pair
Urine - Opposite of you're out
Varicose - Located nearby
Vein - Conceited