"Blonde librarian" joke
a man walks in a library and asks the blonde librarian if they had any books on suicide? He said hed like to kill himself,
she said yes, theyre in aisle g4. He walks back there and comes back in about fifteen minutes and says theres no books on suicide back there. he said he looked all over the shelf and just couldnt find them. the blonde librarian said oh man them people never bring those books back
Goldie, a middle aged Jewish woman goes to see a fortune-teller.
"Two men are madly in love with me!" Goldie says. "Who will be the lucky one?"
The swami answers...."Morris will marry you, and Irving will be the lucky one."
Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was
Enough (they could not afford a larger doublewide). So, the husband went to his doctor (who also treated mules) and told him that he and his wife/cousin didn't want to have any more children.
The doctor more...
If I ever commit suicide, here's what I plan to do -- you can use this -- I'm gonna fling myself off the top of a skyscraper, but before I do, I'm gonna stuff my pockets with candy and gum. That way, when I smack into the sidewalk, I'll burst like this big, human pinata. That more...