"Bumper stickers" joke

Constipated People Don't Give A Crap.
Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself.
If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut.
Please Tell Your Pants Its Not Polite To Point.
If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could Drive A Little Better.
Thank You For Pot Smoking.
Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings".
If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.
The Earth Is Full - Go Home
I Have The Body Of A God....Buddha
This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me
Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult
If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?
The Face Is Familiar But I Can't Quite Remember My Name
Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway
Illiterate? Write For Help
Honk If Anything Falls Off
He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit
Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Handbasket?
It's Been Lovely But I Have To Scream Now
I Haven't Lost My Mind, It's Backed Up On Disk Somewhere
If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You're Doing It Wrong...
Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35mph Are Also Timed For 70mph.
If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut?
Necrophillia: That Uncontrollable Urge To Crack Open A Cold One.
Ax Me About Ebonics
Boldly Going Nowhere
Cat: The Other White Meat
Caution - Driver Legally Blonde!
Don't Be Sexist - Broads Hate That
Heart Attacks... God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends
Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window
How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He Is Lost?
If You Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle Them With Bullets.
Saw It... Wanted It... Had A Fit... Got It!
What Has Four Legs And An Arm? A Happy Pit Bull