Timed Jokes

Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35mph Are Also Timed For 70mph.

I'm not driving fast-just flying low.
If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.
Honk If Anything Falls Off
He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From the Next Exit
Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35mph Are Also Timed for 70mph.
Boldly Going Nowhere
How Many Roads Must a Man Travel Down Before He Admits He Is Lost?
Seen on an old, beat-up car: "This is not an abandoned vehicle."
Cover me. I'm changing lanes.

a.. If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.
b.. You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me.
c.. The Earth Is Full - Go Home.
d.. So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time.
e.. Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult.
f.. If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?
g.. The Face Is Familiar, But I Can't Quite Remember My Name.
h.. Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.
i.. Iliterate? Write For Help.
j.. Honk If Anything Falls Off.
k.. Cover Me, I'm Changing Lanes.
l.. He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit.
m.. I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed
Person.
n.. You! Out Of The Gene Pool!
o.. I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To.
p.. Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Handbasket?
q.. Fight Crime: Shoot Back!
r.. If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over...(Seen Upside Down On A Jeep)
s.. Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35mph Are Also Timed For more...

Humor: More Bumper Stickers
1. Constipated People Don't Give A Crap.
2. Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself.
3. If You Drink Don't Park, Accidents Cause People.
4. Who Lit The Fuse On Your Tampon?
5. If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut.
6. Please Tell Your Pants Its Not Polite To Point.
7. If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could Drive A Little Better.
8. My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.
9. Thank You For Pot Smoking.
10. To All You Virgins Thanks For Nothing.
11. If At First You Don't Succeed... blame Someone Else And Seek Counseling.
12. Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings".
13. If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.
14. Horn Broken... Watch For Finger.
15. It's Not How You Pick Your Nose, But Where You Put The Booger.
16. If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass.
17. You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To more...

I'm not driving fast-just flying low.If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.Honk If Anything Falls OffHe Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From the Next ExitRemember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35mph Are Also Timed for 70mph.Boldly Going NowhereHow Many Roads Must a Man Travel Down Before He Admits He Is Lost? Seen on an old, beat-up car: "This is not an abandoned vehicle."Cover me. I'm changing lanes.