"Centipedes, Slugs and Snails" joke

A snail, a slug and a centipede were spending a day together at the snail's house. It was decided that one of them should go out and get some drinks.

The snail said, "I can't go, it will take me all night." The slug said, "I could go, but if it rains, I haven't got anything to protect me."

With this, they both look at the centipede.

The centipede said, "Okay, okay, I'll go," and he walked out the door.

An hour passed and the centipede wasn't back yet. Another hour and still no sign of him. When another hour passed, the snail and the slug began to worry about the centipede and decided to go look for him.

When they opened the front door, they saw the centipede. They asked, "What are you doing?"

The centipede said, "I'm still putting my shoes on."

Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!

199
80

1. Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"2. Say "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that." 3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.4. Say, more...

4
1

A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive more...

193
70

Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

226
101

Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!

371
193
Be first to comment!
remember me
follow replies
Funny Joke? 22 vote(s). 95% are positive. 0 comment(s).