"Chatting On The Night Before Christmas" joke
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house.
Not a creature was stirring, except for my mouse.
No kids lived with me, so I thought I would chatter.
There'd be no damn reindeer, and so stupid clatter.
There'd be no fat elf coming through my chimney.
I'll be alone, my computer and me.
I won't race to the window to see him arrive.
I'll just sit right here... with windows ninety-five.
There's no one I know, as I'm surfing around.
None of my regular buddies are found.
I went in some chat rooms but quickly got out.
Age, sex, location is all that's about.
As I was about to go check out the net.
I got an E-mail which I didn't expect.
A lady told me she had read my profile.
And, asked if I might like to chat for a while.
She said if I didn't, then she would just leave.
But she was so lonely, on this Christmas Eve.
She said it's the first time, she'd ever been on.
But, she heard, computers could be so much fun.
She said the computer was usually locked tight.
But, she said, her husband left it on tonight.
He's away on some business, He'll be gone all night.
So, she thought she'd use it, I guess it's all right.
She started to tell me about her whole life.
How she was expected to be a good wife.
She talked of her anger, frustrations, and needs.
Because she was forced to do such silly deeds.
She talked on and on, from one thing to the next.
Then finally told me..... she was oversexed.
She didn't have sex with her husband, she told.
He was always too busy and getting too old.
Then she wrote me something that made my heart vex.
She asked me to teach her to have cyber-sex.
I said, if she wanted me to, that I could.
Then after an hour, she got really good.
After five hours, my fingers were sore.
I told her that I couldn't continue anymore.
She said that was fine, because she was tired too.
And anyway her husband, soon would be due.
She said she would be on, the same time next year.
Then asked if I wouldn't mind, meeting her here.
She said only on this night, she could be found
It is only this night, her husband leaves town.
She said bye and signed off... and I had to pause.
I think I just cybered with Mrs. Santa Claus!
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