"Christmas letter to my friends" joke

Dear friends:
Thought you'd like to hear the latest from our family. Well, here goes.
We've all been flossing regularly.
The newspaper landed in the bushes twice, but we got it out, thank goodness dad has those long arms.
They put a new gas station on the corner. It's the self-serve kind so there's been a lot of talk around town about it.
The other night we took the whole family to the pancake house for dinner. We all had pancakes except for mom. She had a waffle. She's a free spirt, you know.
We're saving up to buy a goldfish and can hardly wait. Pets are very exciting. And if not, you can flush them down the toliet.
Our kid finished his milk today. No one noticed we're using margarine instead of butter.
It's pretty cloudy here. Sometimes we watch tv. Other times we don't.
We may go shopping this weekend at the mall. There are forty-one stores there. So far we've been to twenty-eight. Thirteen to go. Unless they build more. They probably will. They always do.
That's about it for the big news.
It's been some heck of a year. How about you?
Love and all