"Chuck Norris Facts: 35" joke

Chuck Norris stared evil in the face, and it backed down
Chuck Norris can split the atom. With his bare hands.
On the SAT if you put Chuck Norris for every answer you will score over 8000
The United States could save billions in defense funding if they trade the Military for Chuck Norris
When Chuck Norris spits out watermelon seeds, he puts a machine gun to shame
Chuck Norris doesn't use after-shave, he uses hot liquid magma.
When Chuck Norris found this web-site while surfing the internet, he round house kicked his computer...10 new facts were added instantly, including this one
You can lead a horse to water but cannot make him drink, unless you're Chuck Norris
No matter what your mother always said, Chuck Norris can tune a fish.
Chuck Norris is "The best a man can get".
On Valentine's Day, Chuck Norris gives his wife the still-beating heart of one of his enemies. Being very romantic, Chuck Norris believes every day should be Valentine's Day.
Scientists believe the world began with the "Big Bang". Chuck Norris shrugs it off as a "bad case of gas".
Chuck Norris let the dogs out.
Chuck Norris visits an active volcano every morning to get some of "the best damn espresso on Earth".