"Church Bulletins" joke

* The 1991 Spring Council retreat will be hell May 10 & 11.

* Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.

* The ladies of the church have cast-off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement Friday.

* Don't let worry kill you. Let the Church help.

* The associate minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Now Up Yours."

* A new loudspeaker system has been installed in the church. It was given by one of our members in honor of his wife.

* Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p. m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

* The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.

* At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

* Irving Beltson and Jessie were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

* The Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S.