"Classified Ad Bloopers!" joke
The following were actually taken from classified ads in newspapers:
Free Yorkshire Terrior.
8 years-old. Hateful little dog.
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Free Puppies:
1/2 Cocker Spaniel
1/2 Sneaky Neighbor's Dog
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Free Puppies:
Part German Shepherd
Part Stupid Dog
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German Shepherd - 85lbs.
Neutered. Speaks German. Free!
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1 Man, 7 Women hot tub -- $850/offer
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Amana Washer $100.
Owned by clean bachelor who seldom washed.
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Snow blower for sale.
Only used on snowy days.
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2 Wire mesh butchering gloves:
1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, pair $15.
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Tickle Me Elmo, Still in Box,
Comes with its own
1988 Mustang, 5L, Auto
Excellent Condition, $6, 800.
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83 Toyota Hunchback -- $2, 000
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Star Wars Job of the Hut -- $15
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Soft & Genital Bath Tissues
or Facial Tischue - $. 89
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Full-Sized Mattress
20 Year Warranty
Like New! Slight urine smell.
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FREE 1 Can of Pork & Beans
With Purchase of 3 BR / 2 BTH Home
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Nordic Track $300
Hardly used. Call Chubbie.
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Bill's Septic Cleaning
"We Haul American Made Products"
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Shakespeare's Pizza - Free Chopsticks
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HUMMELS - Largest Selection Ever!
"If it's in stock, we have it!"
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Get a Little John:
The Traveling Urinal
Holds 2 1/2 Bottles of Beer.
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Harrisburg Postal Employees Gun Club
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Georgia Peaches
California Grown - $. 89/lb.
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Nice Parachute
Never Opened - Used Once
Slightly Stained
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American Flag
60 Stars - Pole Included - $100
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Tired of Working for only $9. 75 per hour?
We offer profit sharing and flexible hours.
Starting Pay: $7-9 per hour.
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Exercise Equipment
Queen Size Mattress & Box Springs - $175
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Our Sofa Seats the Whole Mob!
And it's made of 100% Italian Leather.
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Joining Nudist Colony!
Must Sell Washer & Dryer - $300
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Lawyer Says Client is Not That Guilty.
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Alzheimer's Center Prepares
for an Affair to Remember
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Gas Cloud Clears out Taco Bell
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Open House!
Body Shapers Toning Salon
Free Coffee & Donuts
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Kellogg's Pot Tarts - $1. 99/box.
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Fully Cooked Boneless Smoked Mann $2. 09/lb.
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FOR SALE BY OWNER
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica.
45 volumes - Excellent condition.
$1, 000. 00 or best offer.
No longer needed.
Got married last weekend.
Wife knows everything.
Virgin Mary wanted to visit Hell, so she went to God and asked if she might do so. "Yes," God said. "I have only one warning for you. You must stay away from booze, drugs and men. Will you promise me so?" "Yes," Virgin Mary said. "And remember more...
I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately
needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my
gas with the beat of the music.
After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee,
and more...
A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.
After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and more...