"Clocks in Heaven" joke
A guy dies, and goes to Heaven. When the guy arrives in Heaven, St. Peter greets him, and says, "Come with me, and I will show you where you will be staying." St. Peter and this guy are walking along side of the golden fence of Heaven, and the guy notices many clocks on the fence. Out of curiousity, the guy asks St. Peter, "What are all these clocks for?" St. Peter smiles, "They are clocks for every person in the world," he says, "And they tick once for each time you lie. There is Mother Theresa`s clock! Her clock has never ticked once. There is Abraham Lincoln`s clock! His clock has only ticked twice." Again, out of curiousity, the guy asks, "Where is Bill Clinton`s clock?" St. Peter calmly says, "His clock is in Jesus`s office. He is using it as a fan."
Not enough votes...